


Journal Entries

by Atumun15



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, and incredibly domestic, domestic minsung fuck me up, just wants to hug Jisung all day, like jisung has a bit of a scare, like really small, slight angst, so touchy, soft minho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 06:50:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13921656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atumun15/pseuds/Atumun15
Summary: Jisung has a Journal.It's a tattered old thing, pretty useless in anyone else's eyes.But it held a lot of significance for Jisung, many secrets held between the leather covers.One being his strange admiration for a band member.





	Journal Entries

**Author's Note:**

> This is not edited by any means. Enjoy Shauna!
> 
> Moodboard: https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/972270937948160005

Jisung had a journal.

It wasn't a big one, probably no more than 250 pages, but it was ragged and torn. It's leather bound edges were fading away, and the pages were practically threatening to slip out and fall to the floor with one wrong move. Multiple different names, designs and dates were carved into the front, all meaningful but some seemingly forgotten as Jisung grew up and began to mature. The once crisp white pages had turned yellow and gray, the dusting of graphite practically everywhere and words and words and words covered the pages from head to toe.

It was a complete and utter mess

The other members of stray kids had no idea this book existed, and Jisung would make sure it stayed that way. It was his most prized possession and his darkest secrets resided between the two leather covers. It was a scary thought due to the fact that his group members were nosy and wished to know anything and everything, but after hiding it from his equally as nosy parents Jisung knew his stuff. There was a spot right underneath his bed, his mattress resting on a set of metal bars with a cover over top, a rip between the fabric. There was where the journal resided.

Jisung used to write in it all the time but with three other roommates and eight other housemates, it became hard to be able to sit down and write in it without worrying about the others. However, he still made time for his precious baby and set up a time span where he could mindlessly doodle, process the days events, and even write music lyrics. But as of late... his journal being found gives him more anxiety then ever, and he knew it was because his recent few pages consisted of one of his group members and best friends.

Jisung didn't want to admit it, he couldn't admit it. Just the mere idea of it made the boy's stomach churn, but here he was, stood in the dance studio watching his Hyung dance and move in ways that made Jisung imagine rather unholy things. He managed to snap out of it though when a hand landed on his shoulder and Changbin whirled him around suddenly. "Stop staring, for fucks sake" Changbin grumbled, shoving Jisung towards Hyunjin and motioning for him to get into position. This was going to be an extremely long day.

They were trying to perfect their dance for Grrr so they were prepared for the video, and Jisung was struggling so bad. He didn't know what it was about his body today but it just wouldn't fucking work. It was awful because he knew Minho was trying his hardest to get him to nail the moves but he'd either stumble over his feet or mis step and completely throw off the flow of the whole choreography. One step in particular really fucked him over and next thing Jisung knew, his ass hit the floor and his head was spinning.

The room went quiet, Jisung knowing everyone was staring at him as his hands ran up and down his face. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes just out of pure and utter frustration, wanting to just throw himself into bed and write in his journal about how dumb and useless he was over and over again. Jisung felt hands on his knees, palms that were cold and callused but made Jisung's skin hot at just a single touch. It was odd and so fucking cliche that Jisung found himself internally groaning at the thought, his hands rubbing against his face a little too harshly.

Jisung hadn't noticed but all of his members filtered out of the room for a small break, leaving Jisung with the boy who has him questioning everything about his damn existence. "What's up, Jisung? You've been off today." Minho asked after a while, lightly stroking the younger's knees and causing him to shift uncomfortably underneath the others touch. Jisung gulped And day up, coming face to face with his Hyung and backing away at the close proximity. Minho noticed how skittish Jisung had become over the course of just a few seconds, and it concerned the man to an extent.

Jisung gulped And backed his body up until he was no longer underneath Minho's touch, resting his arms on his propped up knees, "Just an off day. My legs feel like jelly" Jisung tried to convince his Hyung, slapping at his legs and making extremely awkward hand gestures. Minho cocked his head to the side in amusement, shaking his head and standing up straight. The elder offered Jisung a hand after a few moments of staring, Jisung taking it with hesitance. It seemed as though Jisung's legs really were like jelly as when he finally stood up straight, he went stumbling into Minho.

The elder began to cackle like a maniac, allowing the younger to shove him away in a flustered mess when they realized their arrangement of limbs. Soft palms landed on Minho's chest and the elder's arms wound around Jisung's upper torso in fright. They probably would have stumbled back and hit the floor if Minho didn't have fantastic balance. Jisung let out a yelp at the same time Minho started laughing, words sputtering from his mouth that not even he could recognize or understand. The younger didn't know it but his body was slightly trembling and it made Minho surge forward and grab him by the biceps.

He looked concerned, but it was obvious Minho found this situation pretty amusing, "Am I so revolting that you tremble at merely touching me?" The elder joked, Jisung's eyes widening as he shook his head frantically, squawks and whimpers leaving his lips as he denied it quickly, blurting out a 'I love it when you touch me' and the room just seemed to get a little too quiet. Minho stared at his blushing dongsaeng for a while, registering what Jisung had just blurted out. "Yeah?"

Jisung gulped audibly, flickering his eyes to the floor and backing away from Minho. "No! No! I just..." Jisung paused for a moment, "Panicked!" He said it a little too loudly for his liking, gathering the attention of the other members and causing them all to stumble back into the room. A frown etched itself on Minho's lips and guilt washed over Jisung as they were both swarmed and separated by their band mates, leaving an unnoticed tension in the room between them. The members hadn't really noticed apart from Chan but that had been because of him sat at the front of the room observing them all.

Jisung could feel his eyes on him the entire time, knowing fully that Chan was going to ask about him about it later but he didn't need that right now. So, that's why as soon as they got back to the dorms, Jisung locked himself away after having a shower in hopes of getting some alone time with his journal. The boy had been curled up into the corner of his bottom bunk, tucked away underneath a fluffy blanket and multiple pillows behind him, supporting his back.

His notebook sat in his lap, Jisung gripping it firmly and aggressively writing about what had happened that day. Jisung had completely blocked out everything, completely unaware of his three other roommates entering the room and watching him in confusion. "Hyung!" Jeongin called out suddenly, snapping him out of his writing daze and catching his attention. The three boys dotted about the room watched him with concern, having called out to him multiple times in a short period of time and Jeongin being the only one who could snap him out of it. Jisung met all their gazes with a pout on his lips, scratching at the top of his head.

"Yes?" Jisung huffed, trying to subtly slip his journal down onto the mattress and underneath his thighs. The others shared a look before Jeongin slowly approached his bunk, arms out stretched. Jisung backed up, menuvering his body so he was sat right on top of his journal. "Why are you approaching me? You guys are creepy!" Jisung whined out like a small child, gathering the attention of the other members in the flat but none of them coming into the room thankfully. Changbin stood back, observing Hyunjin and Jeongin try to get close enough to the squirrel like man.

"What are you writing, Hyungie?" Jeongin inquired innocently, offering the elder a soft smile, one that could easily sway Jisung if he tried hard enough. However, Jisung was incredibly stubborn when it came to his journal, and his members had absolutely no idea the lengths he would go to protect this tattered piece of leather. The elder narrowed his eyes, especially when Hyunjin sat on his bed and pressed his body up against Jisung's smaller body. "Why are you being so secretive, Hyung? We're just curious." Jeongin pouted, inching closer and closer until he too was sat next to Jisung.

The elder curled up in on himself, subconsciously placing his hands so they rested against the sides of his journal, guarding it. "I just had some lyric ideas..." Jisung squeaked underneath Changbin's intense gaze. It happened in a flash, Hyunjin lifting the elder up and Jeongin snatching the journal, tossing it to Changbin who inspected the journal in curiosity. Now, the two members held Jisung down, keeping his flailing body from lunging at Changbin. "You brats! Leave that alone!" The elder screeched, earning the full attention of the other members.

Changbin read over the first couple of sentences with a smug glint in his eyes but it dropped slowly as he continued to read, Jisung no longer fighting the grip his dongsaengs had over him. However, the whimpers he released did not halt in any way, "Jisung..." Changbin murmured in pity, offering the younger a frown. Hyunjin and Jeongin began to pry, asking Changbin what is said but no words escaped his lips as the rest of the members busted in the room, Chan coming first. The room went silent, Hyunjin and Jeongin backing away from their elder and allowing him to be free.

"What the hell?" Chan snapped, assessing the situation in front of him.

Changbin huffed and held up the journal slightly, his eyes flickering to Minho for a few seconds. Chan snatched it out of his hand for a second, shifting his body so no one could read over his shoulder and took in the information that resided within the pages. Jisung felt like he was about to cry, avoiding everyones and anyone's gazes. Jisung heard Chan click his tongue and heave a heavy sigh, "Everyone out besides Changbin. Woojin make sure they don't listen" Chan ordered, his voice oozing with authority.

Everyone shuffled out, Minho lingering in the doorway for a moment, eyes trained on Jisung. The elder just wanted to wrap Jisung up in one of his big hoodies and fluffy blankets, making sure he was safe and secure where no one could touch him. "Minho. It's okay" Jisung murmured, voice shaky and giving no sort of reassurance whatsoever. But with one look from Chan, Minho left with a huff, shutting the door behind them and walking away. Jisung felt his last bit of hope leave his body the moment the door shut, fear coursing through his veins.

They were going to kick him out of the group. Jisung knew it. They were revolted by his sexuality and infatuation with Minho. It was over. Jisung didn't even realize he was sobbing until he felt a pair of arms slither around him and he was tugged into a warm embrace. "It's okay, Sungie. Calm down." Chan's soothing voice echoed in Jisung's ears, calming his sobs down to sniffles before pulling away and speaking. "You don't need to hide this from us, Jisung. We're always going to love you, gay or not." Chan whispered, stroking the younger's cheek comfortingly.

Jisung took in a shaky breath and wiped his cheeks, "It wasn't you guys. It was me. I-I didn't want to admit it to myself... It's wrong." Jisung choked out, throat scratchy from his sobs. He knew his tears were probably a bit of an over kill in this situation, but he was literally pinned down while his deepest darkest secrets were exposed to some of the people he loved. Jisung was someone he wasn't supposed to be and the pure fear from that idea alone was enough to have Jisung shaking. "I'm so sorry. I'm s-so sorry" Jisung whimpered, shielding himself from his hyungs.

Changbin and Chan could feel their heart shatter in their chests, Changbin joining the other two on the bed and slinging an arm across Jisung's shoulders. "Don't you dare apologize for that. It's not wrong for you to be gay. Love is not wrong." Changbin scoffed, pulling the younger's body close to his chest, "Unless its forced or underage." He added in quickly, earning a slight hitch of breath that acted as a chuckle from Jisung. "Either way, You're not the only one in the group whose Gay" Changbin murmured into his hair, rubbing his back.

Jisung pulled back in shock, eyeing his two hyung's. "You seriously haven't noticed Binnie and Felix? Are you blind?" Chan laughed in amusement, brushing some of the messy stray strands of hair out of Jisung's face. Realization dawned on the poor boy, all of the different moments between Changbin and Felix flashing in his head and having him question himself on how the fuck he had been so oblivious to his two best friends obviously having a thing for one another. Changbin and Chan couldn't hold in their snickers, patting him on the shoulder. "Damn. You really are blind."

The laughs faded out, the sudden seriousness of the situation setting in and the leader let out a sigh. "About Minho.." Chan trailed off quietly, sharing a look with Changbin when their younger member couldn't tear his gaze away from his lap. "I'm not saying..." Chan took a deep breath. "You can't date him... But I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Felix and Changbin. Be careful and be aware of the consequences if it ends." Chan warned rubbing Jisung's shoulders in reassurance. "Besides. You guys are cute." Jisung snapped his head up, swatting at Chan's shoulders as whines escaped his lips.

"Hyung!"

Laughs echoed off of the walls, fading out into a comfortable silence. Chan slipped the notebook back into Jisung's hands and patted them gently. "Hide it and keep it safe. I'll talk to the other two about staying out of your business" Chan murmured, but he didn't leave before he said one final thing. Something that only sparked more anxiety for Jisung in the end. "You need to tell the guys soon okay? Not about Minho but your sexuality." And with that. Chan left and Jisung sunk down into the bed, clutching the notebook close to his chest as he ran the events of the day in his head.

 

The journal was never mentioned after that. It stayed firmly tucked away underneath his mattress and his members acted as if it had never been mentioned or found since then. Their daily lives went on as normal, except for the fact that now Chan and Changbin knew about Jisung's admiration towards Minho, they teased him about it every chance they got. Most of the members were sat in the lounge, gathered for their bi weekly movie night, and Jisung had been roped into sitting nn the same love seat with Minho.

He probably wouldn't have cared as much if Chan and Changbin had been more subtle about their involvement with the arrangement. But they practically shoved him onto the couch and made sure all the extra spaces had been taken up before Minho had come back from the kitchen with a few drinks. The elder seemed unfazed by the situation, only glancing where he had to be sat for giving everyone their desired drinks. Jisung's breath hitched in his throat when Minho practically fell against him, having at least a foot of room but sitting thigh to thigh with the younger anyway.

Jisung shyly offered his hyung some of the blanket spread across his lap, Minho taking it without question and throwing an arm around Jisung's shoulders. Chan and Changbin had to keep in their snickers at the sight of Jisung's blushing face, letting a few out when Jisung seemed to just go along with it and melt into Minho's side. Jisung didn't know why he was so nervous, they were incredibly close and always touching each other when they were together. It had been that way since Minho's rap of Hyunjin's line in Hellavator and it only seemed to increase when Minho came back after the elimination.

The thought of the time away from Minho still broke Jisung's heart, even after they had grown and released the trailer for their debut. His body went limp against Minho's, burying his face into his Hyung's neck. Minho chuckled quietly at Jisung's cuddle like demeanor, shifting his body down so they were both laying down with Jisung's cheek pressed against his cheek. One arm rested underneath Minho's neck and the other tangled in Jisung's hair, The younger's arms draped on the couch as his finger's caressed Minho's sides.

It was peaceful and comforting, Jisung struggling to stay awake at the mere feeling of Minho's chest rising and falling with every passing breath. Jisung couldn't stay awake any longer, falling asleep right on top of the boy he had grown a special soft spot for. Minho tilted his head so he subtly placed a gentle kiss to Jisung's hair, whispering words that only he heard. "Sleep well, Sungie" Minho too, had succumed to sleep not long after, leaving them vulnerable to the eyes of their members, completely unaware of their snickering and picture taking. But they didn't mind (partially because they didn't know) because they were comfortable and at peace.

The next morning had been interesting to say the least. The two woke up around the same time, Minho before Jisung, and hadn't had the heart to wake the younger. So, he sat and admired, feeling his heart flutter at Jisung's messy hair and pouted lips. However, the younger rolled right off of him and buried his body between the back of the couch and Minho's body, ultimately shoving his hyung off of the couch. Minho rolled his eyes and huffed when his body hit the ground, lifting himself up to glance at the boy still sound asleep on the couch.

Jisung had taken the pillow Woojin slipped underneath Minho's head before they all left the lounge, and tucked it underneath his torso, unknowingly inhaling the intoxicating scent of Minho's hair in his sleep. The elder snickered at the sight, kissing the boys forehead before going into the kitchen to start breakfast. The elder hummed to himself quietly, trying not to wake anybody up in the process. Unfortunately for Minho, the smell of the food had awoken Jisung from his peaceful sleep and the younger came stumbling into the kitchen, "Hyung?"

Minho's heart nearly leaped out of his throat, turning his body to face the younger with a slightly flustered look in his eyes. "Morning, Sungie" He murmured, keeping his outwardly attention on the food he had been cooking even though his mind was racing. Minho couldn't deny the infatuation he had for Jisung, having an incredibly hard time ignoring it and keeping it at bay, but he guessed he was doing pretty good if Jisung hadn't seemed to notice. His body tensed for a second when he felt arms slither around his waist and a head buried into the middle of his shoulders, Jisung no doubt bending at an awkward angle to achieve the position.

Jisung wasn't really coherent at the time, the only thing him knowing at the time being that Minho's back looked incredibly cuddly and he wasn't going to pass that chance up. "Jisung?" A whisper dared to echo off of the walls, the said boy grumbling underneath his breath and pressing his body closer together to Minho's as a reaction. The elder rolled his eyes and continued to cook, trying his best to ignore the money clinging to his back as he shifted about the kitchen, Jisung moving with him.

They eventually reached a point where Jisung had separated himself from Minho and attached himself back to the couch, laying on his back with the blanket twirled and twined around his body like a vine. The other members began to pile out of their rooms one by one, or two by two depending on the person that leaves first, and everyone was soon lazing about, too drowsy for their own good. Jisung felt a flick to his nose, blinking his eyes open slowly to see Minho hovering over him with a plate of food in hand, "Sit up"

Jisung followed his Hyung's order with a groan, struggling to lift his body up that was just so comfortably placed in the middle of the couch. As soon as the elder had settled, Minho reached from behind him and placed the plate in his lap and discreetly kissed the back of his head at the same time. A blush Jisung couldn't contain rose on his cheeks and he tried his best to hide his face from the others that were eyeing the two knowingly. "What are we doing today?" Jeongin broke the silence with a murmur, sinking further and further into Chan's and Woojin's sides.

"Free day. I have to go visit a few people and you guys deserve a break for the day. But be productive!" Chan warned, patting Jeongin's and Woojin's thighs simultaneously and leaving the room. Everyone separated into their own little groups, Jisung too drowsy to really worry about what he was going to do. Minho however, who had been staring at Jisung since Chan said they had a free day, had a different idea. His question hadn't completely taken Jisung off guard, but it was enough to make him freeze and register what Minho had said.

"Do you want to hang out today? We can have a bonding day." Jisung slowly turned his head to face Minho, noodles hanging out between his lips and causing Minho to start giggling. The elder cheekily lifted his own chop sticks and stuffed the noodles in Jisung's mouth, ultimately making Jisung choke and screech out a high pitched, "Hyung!" Minho fell back onto the couch, clutching his chest as Jisung repeatedly hit him after he swallowed the food in his mouth. Jisung hadn't realized it but he ended up straddling Minho as he switched between hitting and tickling, giving Minho a far more dramatic punishment than he probably deserved.

Jisung's fingers ran up and down Minho's sides, the same sides he had lazily gripped during the night and his wrists were caught between Minho's own fingers. The two laughed and breathed heavily, staring at each other as they tried to gather their senses and calm down. Jisung shyly climbed off of Minho once he realized their position, but Minho didn't let him get very far before gripping his wrist gently one more time, "Go get ready Sungie. We're going out soon." Minho murmured before letting Jisung scurry off with a blush on his cheeks, realizing that Jisung never actually said yes to his offer.

 

Their fingers laid intertwined as they walked the streets, face masks and hoods up to cover themselves so they wouldn't be recognized. Minho and Jisung were on their way home from a rather calming day. They had gone shopping first, Minho just following the younger around like a lost puppy as Jisung bounced from wrack to wrack, his arms piling with items of clothes. Minho felt like a boyfriend who had to take their girlfriend shopping and just ultimately be in pain from the amount of boredom he faced, but that probably wasn't too far off for him.

Jisung came out and showed Minho almost every item of clothing, asking for his honest opinion on literally every aspect of it. By the time Jisung neared the end of the third store, Minho was losing his damn mind as if it had really melted into the inside of his skull. Jisung noticed this and pushed them towards an arcade close by, the two competing in literally everything until they both gathered enough tickets to get a small snorlax plushie they claimed to be there kid shamelessly.

From there, they went to get food and ate in a comfortable manner, joking about and being a little too touchy to be a pair of friends. But the two enjoyed every last minute of it and Jisung almost dreaded having to go back to the dorms because he knew that would be the end of their day and time together. He hadn't realized it, but Jisung had stopped in the middle of the side walk, sending Minho stumbling back when he kept walking and turned to face the younger, frowning at Jisung's saddened expression. "Sungie?"

Jisung didn't say anything. He couldn't say anything. Minho approached Jisung and gently grabbed his shoulder's trying to snap Jisung out of his daze. "Jisung? Are you okay?" The younger nearly melted underneath his hyung's voice, shuffling closer and placing his head in Minho's neck. The elder shuddered in surprise but didn't hesitate to wrap Jisung up in a tight hug. "Whats wrong, Sungie?" Minho murmured into the younger's hair, softly stroking his back and rocking them from side to side on the pavement. Jisung didn't cry, he just stayed quiet and unmoving, clutching Minho's shirt collar tightly.

His sudden behavior worried Minho beyond belief and he just wanted to know what was wrong. Why was Jisung so upset and saddened as of late? Minho sighed gently and twirled some strands of hair on the back of Jisung's head, hoping to coax Jisung out of his clingy daze. The younger separated himself and began to walk away, leaving Minho stood stupidly in the street. His legs kicked befre he could think, running to Jisung's side and stopping right in front of him. "What was that about?" Minho psuhed, not letting Jisung try to walk around him when he tried to avoid the conversation.

"I just really needed a hug" Jisung murmured with a sad smile before successfully walking around Minho and making his way back to the dorms. The moment he got back, Minho not far behind, he escaped into his room and made sure no one was going to walk in before getting out his journal and making an effort to write down everything that had happened, along with his thoughts and what his sudden mood change had been about, unknown to Minho. The elder merely just left Jisung alone, figuring that he needed some time alone rather than time with Minho.

 

Panic was the first thing Jisung felt when he felt underneath his bed and realized that there was no journal there that time. The tattered piece of leather that held all of Jisung's secrets was no longer in its place where Jisung kept it secure. Anger followed not long after, the boy storming into the dance studio with a look of pure and utter fury on his face. "Who took it?!" The music stopped abruptly, the boy being met by silence as all the members stared at him in shock and fear. "Well? Who took it!?" He only grew angrier and angrier as time passed.  
He let out a screech like huff, Seungmin stepping forward with his palms faced out, "Who took what, Jisung?" The elder's eyes were burning at this point, completely and utterly pissed that his members couldn't respect their own fucking privacy and take his journal. His furious eyes scanned every single one of his members, eyes softening noticeably when they reached Minho, but the panic set in once more when he realized that who ever took it knew about his sexuality and attraction towards Minho. Jisung was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.

"You know what I'm talking about! Who took my fucking journal?" Jisung looked ready to throw things, his anger coming off in thick waves as he approached the group.

"I took it." The room froze along with Jisung. Feeling his body shut down along with his mind. Minho stepped forward nervously, not meeting the younger's eyes as everything settled in. Jisung gawked at him, feeling his heart beat faster than it should have been and hearing it in his own ears. The younger gulped, suddenly extremely numb to everything as the members eyed the two.

"Did you read it?"

"Yeah..." Jisung squeezed his eyes shut, trying his best not to fall to his knees and let tears escape. Minho sighed and looked towards his sweaty members, "Can you guys... Can you guys give us a minute" The members were quick to scurry out, leaving the two to do what they obviously need to do. Jisung sunk to the ground after they left, clutching his knees close to his chest as Minho waltzed over to his duffle bag, pulling out the tattered piece of leather. However, when Jisung went to grab for it, Minho didn't let him have it. "I want to hear it from you."

Jisung gulped at his demanding tone, nibbling on his lower lip and shaking his head. Minho's eyes narrowed, giving a Jisung a look that had him scrambling up to the other side of the room. "What do you want to hear that you don't already know?! That I'm gay?! And that I'm practically in love with you?! Well congratulations Lee!" Jisung screeched out every single word, stressing every syllable that the other members no doubt heard. But that had been the only thing Minho needed to hear. Jisung had been grabbed by the shoulders and swiveled around so he was face to face with Minho.

He didn't get to spill a word though. No. Because Minho grabbed him by the face and pressed their lips together, fulfilling the very thing Jisung had so desperately wanted over the past few months. It was about as cheesy as you would expect, their heads spinning by the tim ethye separated and gasped for air. Minho's lips were so soft while Jisung's had been rough due to the fact of him biting on his lip all the fucking time, but it had been nice, if not a little awkward.

"Can I have my journal back, now?"

 

[Moodboard](https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/972270937948160005)


End file.
